The Banyan Tree

This large banyan tree is in the park across from the downtown post office in Hilo.
Like the story I began yesterday on this new blog, the banyan tree is composed of a multitude of interconnecting strands that imbue it with its "tree-ness". Interestingly, the banyan tree is actually composed of hundreds of fig trees, that adhere and multiply onto a host tree.
My story is more complicated than a banyan tree. I'll try to keep it simple.
In order to try to make sense of my life in high school, I began reading more serious literature. I was fascinated with A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce. Stephen Dadealus's loss of faith seemed to coincide with my own deep questioning of my faith.
I read philosophy, history, Russian literature (Dostoevsky and Tolstoy), German literature (Hesse and Mann), poetry (Whitman - Leaves of Grass) and theology and existentialism. Then, I read The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton, and I was stunned.
Merton led a very worldly life until he realized he was called to monasticism. He joined a monastery, and dedicated himself to prayer and writing.
Several weeks later, I was in the midst of what I now realize was a depression. I wandered about the campus at the University of Delaware on a quiet Saturday afternoon, and knew that I needed to confess and renounce my sinful life. From reading Confessions by Augustine of Hippo, I had a deeper insight into what constituted my sinfulness, and I was frankly filled with dread of what might become of me. I decided I needed to partake of the Catholic sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation, and I went immediately to the campus chaplains' office, where I confessed the many roots and branches of my sinful life.
More to follow.